The Union Of Man And Woman, How Sweet It Could Be.
The Union Of Man And Woman, How Sweet It Could Be.
A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
The previous article titled "The Union of Man and Woman", and this one, together make an interesting study concerning the union of man and woman. The best place to start is to go back to the sixth day of creation to see how man and woman were originally meant to function together as one flesh, in the Garden of Eden.
Our Father, the ETERNAL CREATOR and SOVEREIGN of the universes, created two humans in His image, and after His likeness. He made them (male and female) and commanded them to fill the earth with humans descendants. The CREATOR gave this first human couple a part of Himself which was a part of His pure loving energy and placed them in the Garden of Eden to enjoy each other in producing children. Thus, they had a heart similar to His with His love as described in our lead article "The Perfect Love of the CREATOR."
They were alone in the Garden and the Serpent appeared and beguiled them into disobeying our Father and thus destroying the free flow of His love to them. The ground and the first two humans were cursed and forced to leave the Garden.
However, because the ETERNAL is love, His Scriptures are filled with examples and ways for humans to live together in peace, happiness, and love. These examples have always been applicable to human life and they are also applicable here in the 21st century.
We will look at passages throughout Scripture to help us understand this very important subject. By taking a close look at the examples and passages we will discover how our CREATOR intended for us to live with our mate even in this modern day and age. We have used a few excerpts from the first article "The Union of Man and Woman" as a basis for this study.
Before Woman Was Made.
Before the woman was created, the ETERNAL CREATOR had Adam name the animals. Adam named all of the animals and came to the realization that there was not a mate suitable for him.
(Genesis 2:19-20) (NKJV) 19Out of the ground the ETERNAL CREATOR formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature that was its name. 20So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
Since Adam did not find a helper comparable to him our CREATOR made Adam a helpmate.
(Genesis 2:21-23) (NKJV) 21And the ETERNAL CREATOR caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22Then the rib which the ETERNAL CREATOR had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Backing up in Scripture we find that the reason the woman was made for the man was very simple, to be a 'helpmeet' or 'helpmate' for him.
The English word "help" comes from the Hebrew word "'ezer" which comes from a primary root that means "to surround, i.e. protect or aid." The English word "meet" comes from the Hebrew word "neged" and means "a front, (i.e. opposite part) specifically a counterpart, or mate."
A Very Personal Gift.
Woman was given as a "gift" to Adam from the CREATOR Himself. The CREATOR especially made her for him. Woman was the counterpart of Adam which means that she complemented him and the two parts became one part and thus became "one-flesh" when the two parts were put together. She was bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. Woman was literally made out of a part of her man. Therefore, Woman (Eve) was the perfect match for Man (Adam).
Since the woman completed the man in every way then the reverse is true that man completed the woman in every way. In all of creation there is nothing that satisfies man, like woman. Woman was made a helpmate comparable to man. Woman is comparable to man, but has a very different function.
The woman was the last physical creation that the CREATOR made. Man was made from the ground, but the woman was made from the man, so she was the "crowning touch" not only of the physical creation, but also of man.
(Proverbs 12:4) (NKJV) An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
The Act Of Becoming One-Flesh.
Our CREATOR is the Personification of love and as such, He made a way for a love relationship to exist between a man and his woman. This relationship includes sexual intercourse, but it does not end there. A couple who is "one-flesh" has the unique experience of living out their one-flesh relationship.
We will examine the "one-flesh" relationship, but first let us consider the physical act of intercourse with its slang name of "making love" or an "act of love." Producing children results in building a bond of love between the man and woman.
The CREATOR created a physical act, which is pleasurable for both partners. The act of love compels the man so much that he thinks about it throughout his day as something that he looks forward to sharing with his woman. This is an act of love for him, to be close to his woman and to give to her something special that only he can give. During this "act of love" the man is giving to His woman, not taking away as some women are now being led to believe. When a man takes his woman in his arms and draws her close to him to give her pleasure, he receives pleasure just by giving his woman pleasure. His desire is to please his woman.
For the woman, she may find that at the end of her very hard day her man is wanting to "make love" with her. The way a woman looks at his offer is mostly not how the offer is intended. Often a woman perceives sex as just another thing that she will have to do to please someone else, namely her man. The woman may see sex as just one more thing that she will have to give. Therefore, quite frequently her answer to her man's advances is simply no.
The man on the other hand is looking to "give" to his woman, to give her pleasure and relaxation and to make her forget the long hard day that she had. When a man is turned down from his offer, it is usually very hurtful for him. A man desires to help his woman and not take from her. Women, for the most part, do not understand men's mentality and feelings when it comes to "act of love." However, in reality, the CREATOR made men the way they are for a purpose. He gave man a burning desire to give pleasure to his woman. Man wants to give this "act of love" as a gift. Just the acceptance of this most wonderful act by the woman endears her to him as no other act can.
It is a beautiful thing when a woman understands the importance of the "act of love" between her and her man. However, for a woman to enjoy the act as much as the man there must be communication.
Men, let us be real here. If you are having more pleasure than your mate is, then you and she need to talk because you are not communicating. The man sometimes has to do something that may be embarrassing for him at first, he has to talk with his woman and find out what pleases her. In addition, she has to do something that might be hard for her too. She has to be honest because without honest communication someone is not going to be fulfilled. That someone is most likely the woman.
Our Founding Fathers.
In Scripture, we do not have any indication that our founding fathers had anything but happy, healthy sexual relations with their mates. We see how very pleasing Eve was to Adam and how he "knew" her and how they had many babies.
We see that the only reason that Abraham went in to Hagar was for making an offspring, not for the purpose of the sex act. Even though Sarah was barren, Scripture does not indicate in any way that their sexual relations were hindered.
There was a famine in the land so Isaac and Rebecca went to live among the Philistines. Foolishly, Isaac told the Philistines that Rebecca was his sister because he feared for his life there.
(Genesis 26:8-9) (KJV) 8And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife. 9And Abimelech called Isaac, and said, Behold, of a surety she is thy wife; and how saidst thou, She is my sister? And Isaac said unto him, Because I said, Lest I die for her.
The truth was visible as Abimelech saw Isaac "sporting with Rebecca.":
(Genesis 26:8-11) (KJV) 8And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife. 9And Abimelech called Isaac, and said, Behold, of a surety she is thy wife; and how saidst thou, She is my sister? And Isaac said unto him, Because I said, Lest I die for her. 10And Abimelech said, What is this thou hast done unto us? one of the people might lightly have lien with thy wife, and thou shouldest have brought guiltiness upon us. 11And Abimelech charged all his people, saying, He that toucheth this man or his wife shall surely be put to death. Then the king of the Philistines charged all of his people not to touch Isaac or his "wife".
These are but a few examples of Scriptural sexual relationships between man and woman.
Have you ever had the experience of wanting to be closer to your mate? Well, that is exactly what we are supposed to do. In Ecclesiastes, we are told to:
(Ecclesiastes 9:9) (NKJV) Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days are vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun.
So, how can we live joyfully with our mate? To live joyfully with our mate simply means that we have to be a joyful person ourselves. If each mate is joyful, then that goes a long way in having a happy, healthy, joyful relationship. So, let us look at ways of how we can be joyful.
Ways For Women To Be Joyful And Happy.
Most of the time a woman knows what she would like her man to do for her or even say to her to make her feel loved. Moreover, somehow she expects her man to read her mind and "magically" know what that "something" is. However, no human is a mind reader. In addition, a man's mind is just not tuned to his woman's feeling as it is tuned toward providing for her.
I have only known a few men who somehow have good instincts and are tuned in to their wives well enough to at least ask the right questions. However, that is very rare. Men can be extremely intelligent, yet at the same time be very uncomplicated.
On the other hand, no matter how intelligent or unintelligent women are, they usually seem very complicated to their mates. Therefore, women should work to make their men aware of their relationship to a depth where both are involved and where each one is comfortable and actively attempting to make their relationship more meaningful.
Ways For Men To Be Joyful And Happy.
A man's desires are usually very simple. Most often, it takes very little to make a man happy. His main concern is for his wife and family to be well cared for and provided for.
Perhaps you might like a back rub or your feet massaged. How about a nice homemade dessert or a favorite meal? Do you like a nice quiet walk on a dirt road looking at wild flowers or searching for deer tracks, what about a slow walk on the beach? But whatever will make you happy is what you need to communicate to your woman. She cannot fulfill those very important needs and desires if you does not tell her what they are.
She is more likely to tell him of her needs rather than him telling her of his needs. Our society does not put men's needs as a priority. In fact, women are led to believe that if a man has "needs" then he is being "selfish." In reality, most men are not selfish. A typical male puts his own needs on the back burner so to speak because of the very demanding needs of his wife and children and the strain of their day-to-day circumstances and existence. I believe that your needs are very important and that for you and your wife to have a very happy, fulfilled, joyful union, you need to be honest with her too.
Who Is The Head Of The Family?
The man is the head of the family. The head/leader of the family has a very important role, actually, his role is the most important role in the family and yet this position is not honored in our society. That has to change for the man to be all that he was created to be by our CREATOR. When the ETERNAL created man, He made the man leader or head of the family. Now the woman has the same status as man, in fact, she is also called "man." Let us look at a Scripture in Genesis.
(Genesis 5:2) (KJV) Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.
In fact, the word "Adam" means "man" In other words, Adam did not have a name. He was called "Man." "Adam" is the Hebrew word for "man." "Man" is how we translate the word "adam" into our English language. However, in a family situation the man must be the undisputed head and leader of the family.
Since our CREATOR called both genders of human's "man" therefore, when the CREATOR calls the man by name, He is including his woman also. The man is the head and our CREATOR has an order to His creation. He works with the woman through the man. The man has the responsibility of the woman and family and his decisions are made in front of his CREATOR.
For example, Adam was instructed concerning the two trees in the Garden of Eden before the woman was even created, thus it was then his responsibility to relate that information to the woman. Sadly, the transmission of this information by Adam to the woman is suspect because for her statement to Heylel and her subsequent actions and/or omissions (Genesis 3:1-8). Adam could have given misinformation to Eve, or she could have misunderstood or changed the information. In any event, it was his responsibility to communicate with her and it affected his relationship with the CREATOR and changed the course of human history from that moment until the present (Genesis 3). The fact is, the man is the head of his woman and that is the way we should view it because that is the way it is.
Adam's responsibility, and consequently the responsibility of the man in the couple is to teach his woman and his family about the Word of our CREATOR and to ensure that they obey the CREATOR. The man must lead his woman and his family in living the right Way, according to the ETERNAL's Word, and defend them from those who would take them all astray. Nevertheless, remember that the woman has been given to the man as a helpmate, so the woman also must give a warning in case of danger and be strong if her man meets moments of troubles. Both man and woman have to be a valid and loving support for each other during the events of life.
Until women learn to stand by their men as the head of the household, they cannot even comprehend the true meaning of happiness. On the other hand, until men learn the art of communication in order to lead and relate to their woman, they will be limited in experiencing all of the joys and happiness that their union together should provide.
The Importance Of Balance.
In order to have a happy and healthy relationship we must not loose sight of our CREATOR's ideal for us and what He really wants for us in our union together. To follow His Word and walk in His Way means for us to live under His Wings thus, giving Him the possibility to bless our lives. The ETERNAL's Way for us sets order and balance. Balance in the family is very important. Balance means that every part of the family, the man, the woman, and the children have a role and responsibilities. When partners do not fulfill their own responsibility in the relationship, the thing that suffers is true harmony. Moreover, the children get the wrong information about how a relationship should be and they are the ones who will truly suffer.
When children mimic dysfunctional ways the dysfunction will come back in many, many ways and we will have to relive the hurtful scenarios repeatedly through our children as they get older. This is not a happy path to travel. Usually the weakest person is the one who hurts the most emotionally and that is the children.
Therefore, if we are to truly be "soul mates" then we need to behave in such a way that we are a complement to each other. The woman was made for the man and complements him, but the reverse of that is also true, the man is to protect his woman and make sure that her needs are being met. Let us look at how we can "bless" each other.
Remember that we are looking at ways in which we can live joyfully with our mate. The first way that we looked at is to simply be joyful. Nobody wants to be around an unhappy person all of the time. The second way we looked at is to understand that we each have a special place in the family structure. The man is the Chief Executive Officer of the family and the woman is the Manager of daily activities. In other words, the man is the king of the family and the woman is the queen. That makes the children the subjects in a benevolent family structure.
The Role Of The Woman.
We see from Scripture that the woman has a special role. We can look at examples of this and we will see clearly what those roles are.
(Isaiah 51:1-2) (NKJV) 1Listen to Me, you who follow after righteousness, you who seek the ETERNAL: Look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the hole of the pit from which you were dug. 2Look to Abraham your father, and to Sarah who bore you; for I called him alone, and blessed him and increased him.
Note that the ETERNAL blessed Abraham and included Sarah in that blessing. Whenever the ETERNAL blessed Abraham, Sarah was always included in the blessing. Let us look at Verse 2 in the above passage. "Look to Abraham your father, and to Sarah who bore you..." the ETERNAL was speaking to Israel in this passage. He wanted the Children of Israel to look at Abraham and Sarah, not just at Abraham. Sarah was included here, as the mother of Israel, "Look...to Sarah who bore you." Yet, most of the time in Scriptural passages Abraham's name is the only one mentioned. This is the ETERNAL's Way and it needs to be understood that when He is instructing us in Scripture and mentioning a man's name, He is generally including the man's mate as well. (See the above meaning of Adam.)
To expound on this situation a little notice in Scripture that the ETERNAL instructed Abraham to listen to his "wife" Sarai (Sarah) in a particular point. We see this in (Genesis 21:12) below. Sarah had a handmaid. When Sarah made a suggestion for Abraham to "go into" her handmaid Hagar so that she might have an offspring through her (Sarah was barren at that time), Abraham heeded Sarah's words and did as she suggested. Then when Hagar found out that she had conceived and despised her mistress, Abraham allowed Sarah to deal with Hagar herself. Later, when Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham scoffing, she said to Abraham:
(Genesis 21:10-12) (NKJV) 10Therefore she said to Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son; for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, namely with Isaac. 11And the matter was very displeasing in Abraham's sight because of his son. 12But the ETERNAL said to Abraham, Do not let it be displeasing in your sight because of the lad or because of your bondwoman. Whatever Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice; for in Isaac your seed shall be called.
We see here that the ETERNAL instructed Abraham at this point to listen to Sarah's voice. So, we find that Sarah had a part in making decisions which affected the outcome of history.
A woman who is following the Words of the CREATOR can give wise council and her man relish her words. We need to make our words count for something when we speak to avoid being in the category of these bad examples in Proverbs.
(Proverbs 19:13) (NKJV) A foolish son is the ruin of his father, and the contentions of a wife are continual dripping.
(Proverbs 21:9) (NKJV) It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
But, on the other hand...
(Proverbs 18:22) (NKJV) He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the ETERNAL.
because a woman that surrounds her man with her love and protects him and honors him and respects him is a treasure.
A woman should want her mate to instruct her in the Word. That is his job. He is to make sure that his family loves and obeys our CREATOR. A woman has to help him to do that for her and for his family. Sadly, some men will refuse this mandate and shirk their responsibilities however, the consequences this causes are upon their shoulders. If the man to takes the time to go through Scripture to learn how to apply it to the life of his family, then the woman has to help him take the lead and then follow him.
A Prudent And Virtuous Woman.
Scripture states that a "prudent wife" is from the ETERNAL (Proverbs 19:14). The definition of "prudent" is: planning carefully ahead of time; sensible; and discreet. A prudent wife is a wise wife, she is cautious. She manages her household well. She is industrious and her man delegates most of the responsibilities of the household to her.
If the responsibilities of the household are too much for the woman to handle, things can be done. If the family can afford part-time help, that is a nice way to go. Remember our mothers of the faith had "handmaids or servants." They would be considered "employees" in our day. Another way to get help is to give the children regular chores. If the woman gets overwhelmed, then it is up to her man to come up with a solution to help her because the ultimate responsibility of the household belongs to him.
In another example, Abraham told his oldest servant to go take a "wife" for his son Isaac from the land of his kindred and not from the Canaanites. We see how, when the servant found Rebecca she heeded the leading of the ETERNAL and went back with the servant to become united with Isaac. It is beautiful to see how Rebecca got ready and went with the servant on just one day's notice. She was ready to assume the responsibility of a new household. She must have been a brave woman and was blessed because of her obedience. Because of Rebecca's obedience she became one the mothers of the Hebrew Faith by giving birth to Jacob whose name was changed to Israel.
Other examples of women in Scripture who were women of the faith were Ruth and Queen Esther. Both were faithful and of high moral character who are described in the books by their name.
Most of us are familiar with Proverbs 31 where a virtuous woman is described. Wow! Can you believe what a virtuous woman is and all she does? Let us look.
(Proverbs 31:10-15) (NKJV) 10Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. 11The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. 12She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. 14She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. 15She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants.
(Proverbs 31:16-22) (NKJV) 16She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. 17She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. 18She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. 19She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. 20She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. 21She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. 22She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
(Proverbs 31:23-31) (NKJV) 23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. 24She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants. 25Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. 26She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. 27She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her, 29"Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all". 30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the ETERNAL she shall be praised. 31Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.
A virtuous woman means: good, righteous, worthy, honorable, moral, upright, honest, excellent, and helpful. A virtuous woman is first of all a strong and enterprising person. Scriptures describe her as strong, not weak at all, working in her house as a valiant manager. Just like a manager in a business today, she is busy building her home and keeping it improving and growing. She works day and night as is needed. In addition, Scriptures describe her as very enterprising and she functions as does a modern day businesswoman. She buys a field and gains revenue from it. Then she starts another business by planting a vineyard.
Today a similar woman has her own business, in order to make his main 'company' (which is her family) improve and grow. To make a simple analogy, we could say that the ETERNAL is the President, the man is the CEO, and the woman is the Manager in charge of the day to day operation of the home.
The Role Of The Man.
From Scripture, we see that man has the ultimate responsibility for the woman and family. The man is to provide for his wife, protect her, love her, and in general take care of her needs. He is to make sure that the wife has her food, her clothing, and her marriage rights (Exodus 21:10).
Abraham had the major role in his family. The teaching and training of his family fell upon his shoulders.
(Genesis 18:17-19) (NKJV) 17And the ETERNAL said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing, 18since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? 19For I have known him in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the ETERNAL, to do righteousness and justice, that the ETERNAL may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.
Abraham's leadership role was what the ETERNAL based His decision on to bless him and make him a great and mighty nation. The ETERNAL knew that Abraham would command his children and his household after him and that they would keep the way of the ETERNAL. What a responsibility! The history of the whole world was changed because of one man's faithfulness.
The man has most of the responsibility on his shoulders to provide for his family and he should not become bogged down with that responsibility and forget to take time to show love to his family. The woman and each one of the children need his time and special care from the man, the leader of the family.
(Proverbs 19:22) (NKJV) What is desired in a man is kindness, And a poor man is better than a liar.
While I was in sales I was in at lot of homes and saw how many couples function together. I have seen couples come in to my office and on occasion, I have had the privilege of observing something very beautiful. Occasionally, I meet a couple where the man is definitely the leader of his home and at the same time is tuned in to his woman and her wants and needs. I have one particular man in mind. His woman just had a new baby so I spent most of my time talking with him and we became aquatinted a little. I cannot tell you what a pleasure it was to meet this man and to see how attentive he was to his "woman." He was so soft spoken and yet skillfully guided his woman to find out what she really wanted for their home. If he saw that she was confused or could not quite make up her mind, he was there to make suggestions and to gently lead in the direction they ultimately needed to go. When I had an opportunity, I could not help but comment to his wife how blessed she was to have such a man. With a smile on her face, she agreed.
A way that a man can help his woman is to communicate with her with his full attention. To let her know that he cares about her and that he appreciates her. To make sure that she is handling her duties as the manager of the household well. Make sure that she is not overloaded with her responsibilities. If she needs a break, do his best to provide her with time away even if that means taking time out of his schedule to give her that needed respite. Raising a family and taking care of a household is very wearing and having a break will be a welcome relief for her.
Cultivate an attitude of being "protective and meet her needs accordingly. The woman is his main responsibility within the family structure.
(Genesis 1:28) (NKJV) Then the CREATOR blessed them, and the CREATOR said to them, be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion of the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.
This mandate from the CREATOR includes the woman... "then the CREATOR blessed them." She also is to have dominion along with you as your helpmeet.
(Genesis 2:24) (NKJV) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.
Has the man truly left his father and mother and does he cleave unto his wife? Many couples have difficulty in this area. The meaning of "cleave" is: to "cling, adhere, or hold fast to. If not done this can cause 'parental interference."
From our CREATOR's perspective, there should not be a one-flesh relationship until the man leaves his father and his mother. A man's focus from the time he "takes" his wife is that the two are one-flesh with a total commitment on each mate's part to their relationship. If either set of parents is coming between your one-flesh relationship, then some changes need to take place. There cannot be a happy, fulfilled, one-flesh relationship without each of you leaving your fathers and mothers and clinging unto each other.
The CREATOR made structure. He has an order to everything. When we get out of order in our family unit there is nothing that can make us have a happy, fulfilled, joyful relationship until that imbalance is corrected.
Righteous And Faithful Men.
Boaz is an example of a man who knew what order was. We find him in the Book of Ruth. Ruth was Naomi's daughter-in-love. If you remember the story, Naomi had two daughter-in-loves and their husbands died. Naomi told both daughter-in-loves who were now widows to go back to their mother's house because she being a widow also was going to go back to her home country.
Well, Orpah went back to her mother's house, but Ruth chose to go with Naomi. Ruth is the one who said...
(Ruth 1:16-17) (NKJV) 16But Ruth said: Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your SOVEREIGN, my SOVEREIGN. 17Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried. The ETERNAL do so to me, and more also, If anything but death parts you and me.
Now Naomi had a kinsman and his name was Boaz. Ruth worked in the fields gleaning to acquire food for both Naomi and herself. Unsuspectingly, she found out that she had been working in Boaz's field and that he was Naomi's kinsman. Then Naomi told Ruth to lie at Boaz's feet during the night and follow his instructions, which she did. Boaz was very much impressed with Ruth and called her a virtuous woman.
Boaz tried first to make arrangements with Naomi's closest kinsman, as stated by Law, to take Ruth and raise up an inheritance for Naomi, but the other kinsman choose not to take Ruth. Therefore, Boaz was able to take Ruth and give her offspring for Naomi's inheritance. In addition, of course, Ruth and Boaz were the grandparents of King David (Ruth 4:17). Boaz did what was right in the ETERNAL's sight and what a blessing it turned out to be for them all.
Let us look at another man and see how he affected his family. Let us look at Isaac. We know that Rebecca was barren. Looking at Scripture, we do not know how long she was barren before Isaac pleaded with the ETERNAL on Rebecca's behalf. We find that the ETERNAL granted Isaac's plea and Rebecca conceived and had twins (Genesis 25:21-23). We also find in this passage that Rebecca inquired of the ETERNAL and the ETERNAL answered her.
A righteous man has the ear of the CREATOR and The CREATOR will listen to him when he prays to Him. The ETERNAL hears and answers prayer of a righteous man when he takes his rightful place as the head of his home.
We have been looking at the role of men who made a positive difference in their families. These men were men of order. They were righteous men. They influenced the very course of history. Therefore, we cannot forget to mention Noah and Moses.
Just And Perfect Noah.
Noah was a just man, perfect in his generation. Noah walked with the ETERNAL. At the time when the ETERNAL was about ready to destroy mankind, that He had made on the earth because He was grieved in His heart when He saw their wickedness was great in the earth and that every intent and thought of their heart was only evil continually, nevertheless, Noah found grace in the eyes of the ETERNAL.
Can you believe the faith that this man had to have for him to believe that what the CREATOR said is actually what He meant? He was told by the CREATOR to make an ark of gopherwood and he was instructed how to make the ark and what to put in the ark.
It took Noah 120 years to build the ark. Noah had to provide food and all of the necessities of life for his family and had to build the ark as well. What a tremendous task he was given to do. He had to do that even in the face of mocking from his neighbors. Nevertheless, Noah was faithful. In addition, through Noah, the line of the Hebrews came. The Hebrews were part of the line of Semites that descended from Shem and the gentiles came through the lines of Ham and Japheth. Noah made a difference in his generation and thankfully, to all of the generations that followed, because he was righteous and he walked with the ETERNAL (Genesis 6-9).
For a quick mental check on your progress as a man, "Will your family be the first ones to testify to your righteousness and your faithfulness"? What else matters in your life that is more important than that? There is only one thing more important and that is that you are passing the test given by the ETERNAL? Your family is watching you. Are you passing the test?
The Man Moses.
Moses was a humble man. So often, you see Moses on his face before the ETERNAL pleading for the people. They were always getting in trouble for their grumbling, idolatry, and unfaithfulness. Moses had been used repeatedly to bring about miracles for the Children of Israel. He had been given the mission of bringing these people to the Promised Land. In addition, the Israelites were a stiffed-necked people and grieved the ETERNAL on a continuous basis.
Moses was not a man after his own agenda. Moses was a man who was obedient to his Maker and did everything in his power to get the people to be righteous in the eyes of their CREATOR. Unfortunately, neither Moses nor anyone else could accomplish that task. The point here is that Moses was faithful. All he wanted to accomplish in life was to be used by the CREATOR of the universe and to be obedient.
If you remember, one time Moses was disobedient and he paid the price for his disobedience by not being able to lead the Children of Israel into the Promised Land himself. Being obedient is truly important. Obedience has a reward and disobedience has a price.
Samson's Father Manoah.
We want to look at one more example. You probably remember the story about Samson, but very few will remember about Samson's mother and father. Well, an Angel of the ETERNAL appeared to Manoah's wife due to her prayer. She was barren. When the Angel appeared to her, he gave her instructions on what to do because she was going to conceive and bear a very special son.
Well, the wife told her man Manoah about the Angel and what he said and Manoah prayed to the ETERNAL and asked Him to please let the Angel whom He had previously sent to his woman come to them again and teach them what they should do for this special child who was to be born to them.
Manoah was the head of the house and he wanted firsthand knowledge of what was going on and what they should do. The ETERNAL listened to Manoah and the Angel of the ETERNAL came to the woman again. Manoah was not present when that happened. So the woman ran in haste and told Manoah about the Angel and Manoah arose and followed his woman and came to the Angel and got the instructions firsthand for himself.
What Manoah did was very commendable as the head of the house since it was his duty to know first hand. There was no indication that Manoah did not believe every single word that his wife said. Nevertheless, at the same time, he wanted the Angel's word confirmed to him personally since he was ultimately responsible for care of the child. In addition, the ETERNAL honored that.
Manoah had to work at it, but he got the information firsthand. He was a man of order and the ETERNAL answered his prayer. Manoah was a take-charge kind of man. Men have to be take-charge men in their home and not make the mistake of being passive and allow anything to be done in their home without their knowledge or even consent, because the man is responsible for what goes on in the home.
Do You Have A "Soul Mate"?
When we look at Adam and Eve it is very apparent why they would be called "soul mates"--Eve was made out of a rib that was taken out of Adam. The CREATOR called them "one-flesh." Eve was Adam's counterpart. Of course, the reverse has to be true. When we examine the meaning of counterpart, we see that Eve completed her man and Adam completed Eve.
A counterpart is a part or person that is "equivalent but opposite" to the first part or person. A part and its counterpart exactly fit together to form a complete unit. The counterpart complements the original part by supplying something that is missing, but necessary to make a perfect unit.
WOW! No wonder Adam was so excited when Eve was created. She was his counterpart; she was a mirror image of him, but different so that together they made a complete unit. Neither the man nor the woman was complete without the other, because each needed someone to supply what was missing to make to make a perfect whole.
Have you ever taken sandpaper and run your fingers over it? It does not feel too good. When we are so different from our mate, we cannot complement that mate like they need to be complemented. Unless women work at being a helpmate and meeting their mate's needs, we do not complement him. The more different you are from each other, the more you will have to work at being "soul mates."
It is hard to complete each other if you are so very different. However, each mate will have to change and accommodate the other more than those mates who are very much alike accommodate. The couples who have very similar interests are the ones who typically will have better success at fulfilling each other.
The Perfect Mate.
Before the incident with the serpent, both Adam and Eve had the perfect mate. She was made especially for him. What a thrill it must have been for Adam to be introduced to his woman for the very first time. How wonderful it was for them to walk and talk together in the Garden of Eden. There was so much to discuss. Adam must have shown her all of the animals and all of the beautiful fruit and vegetables in the garden. I would think that the more they understood each other the more their love flowed between them.
For an analogy, let us say that your life is a puzzle. What if, as you are putting your puzzle together you cannot find a piece that fits, however, if you have a soul mate, that soul mate will more than likely be able to help you find that missing piece.
How many times have you lost something and what is the first thing you do? You go to your mate. "Have you seen the whatever?" When you have a hard decision to make and you need some input who is the person that you go to for advice? If your first response is to go to your mate for counseling or direction, then in reality, you are probably "soul mates."
Was Adam's soul mate perfect? We know that both Eve and Adam sinned. They both were made to leave the garden. Did Eve's imperfection stop Adam's love for her or vice versa? There is no indication in Scripture that although Eve and Adam sinned that their love diminished in any way. What they did do was buckle down, have babies, till the ground, and make a living for themselves and their family. They had work to do and they did that work together.
Is it easy being "soul mates"? For some couples it is a lot easier than for others. I heard a lady on a radio program recently say that said she met her "husband" more than 20 years ago in high school. She said that after all of those years together he still took her breath away when she looked at him.
Like Adam, we would say "wow" if we had a relationship like that. Maybe it will not be easy for you and your mate to become "soul mates" if this has not been the case in the past. Yes, a lot of water has gone under the bridge. However, I am convinced that if both of you want to have a close relationship that will bless each mate as well as the family, then, yes, you can become "soul mates"! It will take work and a giving of yourself that you will have to do. Interestingly the more you give, the more you will receive. It always works that way. If both of you are working to achieve the same goal, you will accomplish that goal. The focus for both has to be on your mate, not on yourself.
There is one major point that we need to mention in this section that each couple needs to practice before you can have a loving, happy, fulfilled relationship. That key is "appreciation." Are you truly thankful for your mate? Are you thankful for the things that the other does for you on a daily basis? Do you have an appreciative attitude towards the one you love and who loves you? Do you come to your mate humbly in appreciation for who they are and what they do? If you do not have this kind of attitude, then something is missing in your relationship. Soul mates? How sweet it is! Yeah, go for it...!
Scriptural Examples Of What NOT To Do.
Since we are looking here for things not to do within our union, let us look at Jacob in Scripture. Remember, Jacob was instructed by his mother and father, Rebecca and Isaac, to go to Padan Aram to "take" for himself a mate from the daughters of Laban, Rebecca's brother (Genesis 18:1-5).
As it turned out, Jacob saw Rachel, Laban's younger daughter, first and fell in love with her. He was willing to work for Rachel seven years to be able to take her as his mate.
Jacob did work for seven years and when it was time to "take" Rachel, Laban deceived Jacob and gave his older daughter, Leah, as "wife" to Jacob instead of Rachel. Unfortunately for Jacob, this deception was not discovered until the following morning when he woke up to Leah. Well, Jacob was allowed to "take" Rachel as well, but had to work seven more years for her (Genesis 29:15-30).
We see with this example in Scripture that Jacob loved Rachel more than he did Leah. The ETERNAL's Way is for the man to love each member of his family the same so He closed Rachel's womb and she became barren (Genesis 29:31) for quite some time. Although Jacob had been deceived it was still his duty to love each member of his family the same as the ETERNAL Himself does. Therefore, a man must love every member of his family and not show partiality to some and not to others, otherwise there will always be contention within the family.
As the head of the family the man should know when the family is out of balance. All it takes to find out what is causing the imbalance is to talk to each member of the family. Take the time to get to know each member of your family and see if their needs are being met. If each member of the family is not happy, then your family is out of balance and you will not have a happy, fulfilled, peaceful family life as you desire.
King David's Blatant Sin.
It is said that David was a man after the ETERNAL's own heart (1 Samuel 13:14). We look at David's life and he had a zeal for the ETERNAL. David was committed to loving the ETERNAL with all of his heart and committed to obeying Him. Yet, even with all of David's wonderful attributes, he was not perfect. We can read (2 Samuel 12:11-14) how David had turmoil in his life. This turmoil was due to David's sin.
Remember the story about David and Bathsheba? As his custom was David was strolling on the flat sunroof of his home in the late afternoon and in his neighbor's yard he saw a beautiful woman bathing in open view. He sent for her, slept with her, and she conceived.
David had inquired about this woman before he sent for her. He knew that Bathsheba was Uriah's wife and that Uriah was in the heat of battle in a war that was raging at the time, but he sent for her anyway. Then, if you recall how David sent Uriah to the front lines where he was sure to get killed. David did this because he had not been able to hide his sin that he had an adulterous relationship with Bathsheba and therefore had gotten her pregnant. Here we see David committing adultery and then murder to try to hide his sin. Of course, David was found out and he repented, yet David could not take back this horrible sin nor could he make it right. Although the CREATOR forgave him the damage had already been done.
Adultery is a destructive forbidden pleasure that lasts only a few moments compared with a lifetime of regret. If you are not happy at home with your mate then let them know what would make you happy.
Unfortunately, in our society men are hurting more than women could ever imagine. They hurt mostly in silence because they do not want to seem "weak" in their woman's eyes. This type of unhappiness is easy to correct when we come in line with Scripture. If both mates are willing to live their lives meeting each other's needs then there is no reason why you cannot have a happy, fulfilled life before our CREATOR. This will take work on both sides.
Job And His Wife.
Let us look at Job's "wife." I have meditated in this book a lot and I find it curious how Job could have been such a righteous man and his woman was so discouraging. Job spent his life making sure that he was righteous in the CREATOR's eyes. Job was a man who was blameless and upright and one who feared the ETERNAL and shunned evil (Job 1:1). Job even made sacrifices for his children just in case they had sinned and cursed the ETERNAL in their hearts (Job 1:4-6).
Most people do not realize that in the course of Job's trial from Satan that Job did not sin with his mouth. However, Job had an unknown sin that he repented of to end his test. His sin was that he was so convinced of his own righteousness that he exalted his own righteousness above the CREATOR. Today we would say Job was 'self-righteous,' yet he did this unwittingly.
After Job's friend, Elihu, corrected him the ETERNAL Himself came down in a whirlwind, answered Job directly, and put him straight. Anyway, when we look at Job's woman we see how unsupportive she was. She even suggested to Job that he curse the ETERNAL and die.
(Job 2:9) (NKJV) Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold to your integrity? Curse the CREATOR and die!"
That is amazing! How long did Job's "wife" see Job live a righteous life before his MAKER before this trial came upon him? She did not have very much patience. Job had been a wealthy man before this test and when Job lost all of his wealth and got sick all his woman wanted him to do was to curse the ETERNAL and die. You cannot get much worse than that. Just curse your CREATOR and DIE!
Men, how would you like to have that kind of support? Day after day, Job's woman (we do not know her name) lived with her man and saw how righteous he was and how he longed to please the CREATOR. We even see the CREATOR noticing Job and Himself mentioning Job to Satan (Job 1:8). Nevertheless, all of Job's past successes did not matter to his "wife" when the chips were down. She did not want to have anything to do with Job any longer. She did not want to wait around and find out "the rest of the story"--she wanted out of there. She just wanted Job to die and get it over with.
How tragic! If a woman is truly a "helpmate" to her man, she will surround him when he is down. She will cover him with her love, her concern, and with her help. She will be there for him in any way that she can and she will be that encourager that he needs in his time of trouble.
Things are going to happen in this life. We have an enemy out there. Are we going to allow the enemy of our souls to dominate our union and our family life? It is really up to us. We can choose to be victorious or we can choose to succumb to defeat. If you choose the latter there is no way that you will live a joyful, happy, fulfilled life with your mate.
Moses And His Wife.
Remember how Moses was called to be the leader of the Children of Israel and how the ETERNAL met him in the burning bush on Mt. Sinai? Moses was instructed to go back to Egypt and to lead the Children of Israel out of that heathen country into the Promised Land. On the way back to Egypt, the ETERNAL met Moses and sought to kill him.
(Exodus 4:24) (NKJV) And it came to pass on the way, at the encampment, that the ETERNAL met him and sought to kill him.
We have to look at this very closely or we will miss something. Why did the ETERNAL try to kill Moses? The ETERNAL had just given Moses a command to go to Egypt to bring His people out of Egypt. Well, we find in the next verse Zipporah circumcising their son.
(Exodus 4:25-26) (NKJV) 25Then Zipporah took a sharp stone and cut off the foreskin of her son and cast it at Moses' feet, and said, Surely you are a husband of blood to me! 26So He let him go. Then she said, You are a husband of blood! -because of the circumcision.
Either Zipporah did not want their son to be circumcised and prevented Moses from circumcising him before they left for Egypt OR Moses shirked his duty and did not circumcise their son. Either way the ETERNAL held Moses accountable. Whoever was the offending person does not really matter here because Moses was the one who was held accountable. It was Moses' job to circumcise his son, but he did not do it.
There is a very good lesson here. Men are the heads of the family whether they want that responsibility or not. That is the position that they were given by the CREATOR. If the man is not the man he was intended to be, he will still be held accountable. The man is still responsible for the family even if his wife does not support him. A woman cannot have the kind of home life which our CREATOR desires for her to have which requires her to come in line with Scripture and submit to her man as the head of the home.
The Covenant Between Man And Woman.
There is a blessing for the one who fears the ETERNAL and walks in His ways. Notice in this very important passage...
(Psalms 128:1-4) (NKJV) 1Blessed is every one who fears the ETERNAL, who walks in His ways. 2When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. 3Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house. Your children like olive plants all around your table. 4Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the ETERNAL.
That sounds very good. However, if a person caters to their mate and children more than they fear the ETERNAL, they have their work cut out for them, as we must obey the ETERNAL regardless of what any person says.
There is a way that man can be blessed and enraptured with his woman's love. Let us look.
(Proverbs 5:18-19) (NKJV) 18Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the "wife" of your youth. 19As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.
ETERNAL wants men to be happy with their woman. The instruction here is not only be happy with your mate but "be blessed" with your mate. Men, do you really want to be happy and blessed, always be enraptured with your woman's love? This really sounds good.
The CREATOR's Covenant With Man.
We cannot end this study without addressing our Covenant with our CREATOR. The ETERNAL is the One who chooses men with whom to be in a Covenant with Him. In addition, He chose the Children of Israel to be His special treasure above all people.
(Exodus 19:3-5) (NKJV) 3And Moses went up to the ETERNAL, and the ETERNAL called to him from the mountain, saying, Thus you shall say to the house of Jacob, and tell the children of Israel: 4You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles' wings and brought you to Myself. 5Now therefore, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people; for all the earth is Mine. And Moses went up to the ETERNAL called to him from the mountain, saying, "Thus you shall say to the House of Jacob, and tell the Children of Israel: You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles' wings and brought you to Myself. Now therefore, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My Covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people; for all the earth is Mine.
Breaking into a different thought, notice what the CREATOR states:
(Isaiah 54:5) (TLB) for your Creator will be your "husband." The ETERNAL CREATOR is His Name; He is your Redeemer, the Righteous One of Israel, the SOVEREIGN of all the earth.
He is our Redeemer and He had a Covenant with His people. I am sorry to have to say, the "fathers" broke the first Covenant, but glad to tell you that the ETERNAL will make a New Covenant with the righteous remnant. This is with the House of Israel and the House of Jacob that He will reunite in the land of Israel. He will again be their SOVEREIGN and they will again be His People. He will again renew His relationship with the House of Israel and be in a Covenant Relationship with all His righteous people that have come through the Time of Jacob's Trouble and are in the in the first awakening.
(Jeremiah 31:31-34) (NKJV) 31Behold, the days are coming, says the ETERNAL, when I will make a New Covenant with the House of Israel and with the House of Judah 32not according to the Covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My Covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the ETERNAL. 33But this is the Covenant that I will make with the House of Israel: After those days, says the ETERNAL, I will put My Law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their SOVEREIGN and they shall be My People. 34No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, 'know the ETERNAL,' for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the ETERNAL. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.
In the third chapter of Isaiah, we see where Isaiah is prophesying about the Last Days and he is explaining how men, mighty men, commanders, respected men, counselors, judges, etc., are out of position in the family. Let us look at a few verses:
(Isaiah 3:4-5) (TLB) 4Israel's kings will be like babies, ruling childishly. 5And the worst sort of anarchy will prevail, everyone stepping on someone else, neighbors fighting neighbors, youths revolting against authority, criminals sneering at honorable men.
(Isaiah 3:8-12) (TLB) 8Israel's civil government will be in utter ruin because the Jews [the House of Judah] have spoken out against their CREATOR and will not worship him; they offend his glory. 9The very look on their faces gives them away and shows their guilt. And they boast that their sin is equal to the sin of Sodom; they are not even ashamed. What a catastrophe! They have doomed themselves. 10But all is well for the godly [righteous] man. Tell him, What a reward you are going to get! 11But say to the wicked, Your doom is sure. You too shall get your just deserts. Your well-earned punishment is on the way. 12O my people! Can't you see what fools your rulers are? Weak as women! Foolish as little children playing king. True leaders? No, misleaders! Leading you down the garden path to destruction.
Applying the story in the above to this study, this is what I get out of this passage. There are two kinds of family men:
1) Those like the foolish kings and allow anarchy in their families.
2) Those who are righteous who enjoy the fruit of their doings and who will get a great reward. Which type of man do you want to be?
We can see both examples in the world in which we live. There are more illustrations of the first example than the latter. Nevertheless, men have a decision to make. They can be men after the ETERNAL's heart by following HIS Ways, obeying Him, and following His Pattern for the family, or they can be out of order and pay the consequences. Trouble is for those out of order their whole family will also pay for their sin.
Women have a part in this as well. If women are stubborn and they are not allowing her man to be her leader then they will pay the consequences. As with the man the ones who suffer the most will likely be their children.
Is it not hard to do what is right! On this life's journey it is a whole lot easier obeying than paying. I would rather be enjoying my "soul mate" than reaping the consequences for not doing so. Life is short while we are here. We are living in a testing mode. Everything that we do is a test to see how we will handle the situation and to see if we will obey or not obey. While going through this test, we are determining the course of our life here on this earth as well as in eternity. We can enjoy the path that we are on or make it hard on ourselves.
Times are going to get rough in the near future as this age, as we know it, is fast concluding. You have someone at your side who wants to be there with you. He/she wants to be your soul mate and help you through these difficult times. The relationship with our mate is one of the biggest tests that we will go through in our journey here on this earth. There is a blessing here folks...if you choose the right way, guess what? How sweet it is!
Note: The author is not being critical of any government, nor is he advocating any type of civil disobedience for any cause or purpose, whether it is violent or nonviolent, or whether the cause or purpose is religious, political, sexual, racial, or some other cause.
 See the essay: "Eden In the Beginning".
 [a] All scriptural links point to the Bible Gateway, A Searchable Online Bible In Over 100 Versions And 50 Languages, located at "BibleGateway.Com", a vast biblical resource containing all the major texts and reference materials useful for in-depth bible studies. Most scriptual quotations are from the (KJV) of the Bible, however versions noted in (parentheses) should also be consulted. [b]All Strong's scriptural references point to the Blue Letter Bible Lexicon, located at "BlueLetterBible.Org", another vast biblical resource which has over 4,000,000 links available, pointing to more than 165,000 pages of concordances, lexicons, dictionaries, commentaries, images, and several Bible versions.
 Strong's #H5826 'azar (aw-zar').
 Strong's #H5048 pronounced (neh'-ghed).
 "Counterpart" - A part that closely resembles another part with the same functions and characteristics as the other; an opposite number so the two parts fit together, American Heritage Dictionary
 The English word "Isaac" comes from the Hebrew word "Yitschaq" (Strong's #H3327, #H3446, #H7830) and as used in verses (Genesis 17:19; Genesis 21:12; Genesis 26:8) indicates "a merriment while 'sporting' with his wife."
 The Man was never given a name. The Hebrew word for man is "adam" (aw-dawm'). Therefore, whenever you see the word Adam read "the Man," as this first man is always referred too simply as "the Man" - Adam.
 The CREATOR told the man, "you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die" (Genesis 2:17). Adam could have added "or even touch the tree" to the ETERNAL's command in an attempt to keep the woman from sinning, or she could have misunderstood or messed up the warning.
 The Second Commandment is not a diatribe against children as most people think. (Exodus 20:4-5). "You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the ETERNAL your CREATOR, am a jealous CREATOR, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me." To understand this, note that if a family is not following the Commandments then there are wrong actions in the family. These wrong actions cause the children to suffer and even to the children's children. For example, the children and grandchildren can suffer the effects of an alcoholic father.
 Abraham broke faith by hearkening to his wife on this point. Plural Marriages were allowed in that society so, that was not the problem. However, Abraham knew that the ETERNAL's Promises were to pass through a son Sarah would have. However, a son by Hagar would be the first born son and receive the promises. Thus, we see Abraham's actions were in opposition to the CREATOR's Word.
 This time Abraham is told to hearken to his wife. The next verse tells us why. (Genesis 21:13) "Yet I will also make a nation of the son of the bondwoman, because he is your seed." Abraham's duty was to provide for his children by Hagar. Thus, he could not just send her away. However, in verse 13 the ETERNAL has assumed full responsibility for Ishmael (Genesis 16:1-15) so Ishmael is not Abraham's responsibility any longer. Thus, Abraham could send the boy and Hagar away because in effect the ETERNAL adopted him.